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CHRIS' BBQ:
Saturday night, I went to Chris Phillips' BBQ and it was one swinging shindig. After brief bit of pow-wowing, Jory and I took on Julio and Hodge in some 2-on-2 volleyball. Jory and I made a team on our half-real car club called R2C2 (Rhino Racing Car Club). Julio and Hodge talked some non-stop trash and they were beating us pretty good at first. Then Jory and I decided to get serious and shut them up. In the end, we came back for a 25-23 victory. My insanely deceptive tree serves and Jory's power serves proved to be too much for our feeble opponents. Also, I think Julio was intimidated by off-the-foot return on his gangster serve. Hell yeah!
QS TOURNAMENTS: Nothing new to report as far as the tourneys go. I just posted my verse for the semi-finals of the text tournament on sunday night. All that's left to do is wait for my opponent to post and let the votes take care of the rest. And with the punchline tourney, the semifinal matchups have yet to be posted. They were supposed to be done a while ago but there's been a slight delay. However, a serious bitch move happened. In my second round matchup, Shakes voted for himself. Pretty sad if I say so myself. Even sadder that he still lost.
Click on the links below
to see my completed battles so far.
HAZARD PONG: Jeff
and I played some sweet hazard pong thursday afternoon. The table was still
set up from the week before when my cousin and I played hazard pong. So we jumped
off with the hazard pong and "Il Diablo Pongo" just wasn't there for Jeff. "Chee!
Action" was on fire for me however. I won the hazard pong matchups 5-0, however
there was a few close ones including my 24-22 victory in game two. After that,
we cleared the table for a game of normal ping-pong. It's been quite a while
since I played on the table without hazards so it looked really big, which works
good for my power shot offense. I ended up winning the game. After that, we
both had to get back to other plans (Jeff had plans with Stephen and I had plans
with dinner). To boot, I committed bovinecide.
THE WEEK IN MOVIES:
This week I caught two movies. The first was Planet Of The Apes. I've been hearing
a lot of people say it wasn't good. Some people went as far as saying it sucked.
I'm here to tell you that they are all wrong, so wrong. Planet of The Apes was
a great movie. Especially if you liked the original. Someone said Estella Warren
had like 5 five lines. Like that even matters? I don't know if others watched
the same movie as me but the role of Danae isn't the main one. It's all about
Leo Davidson, fools. Anyways, Mark Wahlberg was good in that role. Also, Tim
Roth, Michael Clarke Duncan and Helena Bonham Carter played well as the main
apes.
The second movie I saw
was The Princess Diaries. I am vehemently against Disney's animated flicks but
I don't mind some of their real-life movies. Plus, I think Anne Hathaway is
pretty hot. Anyways, the movie was actually really funny, to my surprise and
it wasn't too cheesy. That surprised me because Disney is usually pure cheese
and that normally sucks (exceptions can be made for the epic tear jerkers "Mighty
Ducks" and "Mighty Ducks 2"). Anyways, both movies were pretty good and I didn't
regret going to see either of them despite the theatre being packed on both
occasions.
CAR SPENDING CONTINUES:
Well, my neccesary car spending is over. I fixed my car up and let's just say
the fixing costs weren't pretty. I have now spent a year of library money in
about a week for my car, the tax, insurance and repairs. I still came out on
top though so score! Anyways, to celebrate my newfound poverty, I decided to
do what all poor people do...spend even more. Jory and I went to the mall to
look at car stuff. I picked up a couple of goodies to make my car look better.
I got some Honda Shoulder Pads for my seat belts and I also got a neon light
fitted to my cd deck that flickers to the bass line of my music. It's actually
pretty cool. Finally, I have a Mugen trunk emblem which is funny because I haven't
gotten my Mugen stuff for the car yet. Soon enough though, I'm getting Mugen
radiator and oil caps and possibly Mugen exhaust tip. My problem with Mugen
parts is that they are very expensive. Time will tell what happens with my car
though because it has some other priorities first.
ANDREA'S HOUSE:
Thursday night, I went to Andrea's house. We went to the video store and got
a movie. We ended up picking up "The Gift". I wasn't expecting a whole lot from
this movie for many reasons. It had a pretty girly cast and Keanu Reeves plays
a key role which, with the exception of "The Matrix" and "Bill and Ted's Excellent
Adventure", spells trouble. However, I was wrong. Very wrong. The movie was
really good and Keanu actually snapped out of Dolph Lundgren mode and actually
acted with some emotion, almost like...a real actor. I found that scary. Anyways,
yeah the movie was sweet but it was pretty long. After the movie, we watched
MASH and waited to see if Good Times was gonna be on but alas, it didn't come
on. At that point, I was bushed so it was sleepy time. All in all, I have to
say good times.
NAS VS. JAY-Z: I emailed a few people about Nas' new Jay-Z diss track. It debuted last monday on power 106 and I was told that Funkmaster Flex played it five times in a row. The exact name of the song is unknown (pretty sure it's called "H-to-the-OMO"). The big question for me is whether the rest of Nas' upcoming album, "Stillmatic", will be as tight as this. I think Nas ripped Jay-Z and the whole Roc-A-Fella camp a new one on this track. Below is a link to the real audio file as well as the lyrics. If the real audio file doesn't work, email me and I will hook you up with the mp3.
Outta luck, no constructive plans
My friends stay powdered up, i'm so drunk, cant stand
You said if I would sober up, I'd be a powerful man
Turned out the street life, u prayed i wouldnt
But every church in the world cant save our children
I stayed out late, u heard shots? thought it would be
Your oldest son on the ground dead.. but fortunately
Them bullets had some other names on it, a brother was blind
I hit the L's and we yell out, it wasnt my time
Then loaded up shells, one by one
U smelled blunts from my room door, lil Nasir was at war
And little did i care what u saw
Crew deep, with a few heat, now its time we settle the score
But in the projects, I vision Muhammad in linen garment
teachin.. man, woman and child.. the livin prophet
and I'm similar, Nasir Bin Olu Dara, viscu Allah
Fistful of dollars in the dice game, god
The ice King, god
The Black Christ, elegant stance
Clothes fit me like the crime boss, the medicine man
I see the world collapsin, young pregnancies
Young girls, assasins in they sasoon jeans, no prophylactics
All this fashion and fly jewelry.. now make my eyes teary
N.Y. City grab a hold and ride with me
Rip the Freeway, shoot thru Memphis with Money Bags
Stop in Philly, order cheesesteaks and eat Beans fast
To bring it back up top, remove the fake king of new york
You show off.. i count doe off when u sampled my voice
I rule u, before you used to rap like the fu shnickens
Nas designed your blueprint.. who you kidding?
Is you H to the IzzO? M to the izzO?
for shizzle you phony, the rapper version of Sisqo
and thats for certain you clone me
Your wack clothes line?
I'd rather Sean John, bored me with your fake ass rhymes
And ol times that neva took place you liar
Un was ya first courtcase.. you had no priors
You master fabricated stories of streets and sound flicks
Have you surrounded, you and them faggots u down with
why they riding Nas tryna boost they career?
Corny as Corn-mega all you hip hop queers
Since Illmatic, It Was Written.. I Am.. Nastradamus
Thas the answers to the puzzle I gave you, now here's the promise:
My next few albums, instead of projects,
There'll be a difficult test inside the cover for the mind's optics
Come in my hood, but bring the guns with you, It's dark
Headed thru Brooklyn... Queens, Harlem, Staten and Bronx
Headed thru Compton, Oak-Town, South Central and Watts
New Orleans, Mississippi, Chi-Town, every block
I'm gonna have my positive ways, I put my rhymes on page
Shed crimes, and headline on stage
I signed a contract... so here it is, you have it
Street's Disciple, I'm Stillmatic
SALMON AWARD: This week's Salmon Award goes to Chris Phillips. Chris has won this award before (in fact, I think he is a two-time winner prior to this). But after his amazing all-night performance on the grill last saturday, I figured he had to get the Salmon Award. So Chris gets the Salmon Award hat trick and is now additionally known as "The Barbecue King". You rock everyone's world man!
THE ONION.COM TOP ARTICLES:
Ahhh...good ole onion. I have some good ones from them for all of you this week
WORD ON THE STREET:
What will Madonna's precious little girl be like in the future and what about
the Material Mom while we are on the subject. FunBo creates another cinematic
masterpiece while looking into his crystal ball. CLICK
HERE TO WATCH "MADONNA AND HER DAUGHTER".
FUNBO ALBUM REVIEW: This week, I am reviewing Tha Liks' "X.O. Experience". The group formerly known as Tha Alkaholiks continue to snowball with better albums each time out. Tash and J-Ro bang out the lyrics nicely as usual and E-Swift is on the beats. E-Swift's best work comes on tracks like "Bar Code" and "Another Round". Other producers come through and shine on the album too, most notably the increasingly popular Neptunes on the track "Best U Can". Tha Liks also have a good slew of guest collaborators. Long time Likwit Crew member Xzibit comes off the chain on the aforementioned "Bar Code" as well as another standout track, "151". Another good appearance is by Kurupt on "Promote Violins". Overall, the album is quite consistent from top to bottom. For those unaware of Tha Liks, it's easiest to compare them to the Westcoast version of The Beatnuts. This album is another classic in the long line of Likwit Crew classics.
BABE BATTLE 29:Last week, we had a barnburner. It was a close battle the whole way through but in the end, it was still a tie. Yup. Tessie Santiago and Veronica Kay tied at 12 apiece. So both of them advance to the next round. This week's babe battle is between models Sarah Jane and Amanda Swisten. CLICK HERE TO VOTE ON THE BABE BATTLE
BASEBALL POOL: Well I slipped a bit but only to the middle of the pack in our group. I didn't lose my standing but Jory and Curtis and still pulling away from me. I did manage to put a little bit more room between Jerred and myself for third place. Here are the up-to-date standings:
| BIG BAMBINO BABE RUTH (Jory) | 1234 |
| Superman Squad (Curtis) | 1151 |
| Cool Mother Funkers (Bobby) | 963 |
| Friday Night (Jerred) | 951 |
| The Family Circus (Jaydon) | 506 |
| Jory's Farm Team (Jory as Warren) | 441 |
WARREN'S COOL THING
OF THE WEEK: Warren's cool thing of the week is the fact that Jerred is in a video game. Yup. He's in NCAA Gamebreaker 2001. If you use Rutgers, he's a linebacker in the game. But since the NCAA can't licence the use of player names, he is simply LB #20. Still cool though. He's the only person I actually know who's in a video game.
RANDOM NOTES: I registered for classes last thursday...ever have something stain your hands and you can't get it off, like printer ink? The solution is easy: pumous rock. Great tool. Comes off so easy...FunBo's House Of Style is the newsletter that never spells your name wrong...be on the lookout for the rhino racing car club, that's gangster...what else is gangster? soup can exhaust, bacon fat in a jar, stealing your neighbours paper, Guy Ritchie movies, the way Kurupt says "that's gangsta", c-walking, Cunninlynguists and other polka/grunge/hip-hop, blue, red and Jimi Hendrix (among other things)...three cheers for good burgers: one for the taste, one for the fun and one for the fact that they don't give you salmonella...why do girls continue to say innuendous sayings like "can i have a bite of your hot dog" knowing damn well you're gonna take it the dirtiest way possible?...Nas is "Stillmatic"...i'm out like Jadakiss in a battle against Beanie Sigel.
Below is the list of past
issues along with some of the highlights:
Thank you to all who have
joined the fan club so far. If there is anything you think would make this fan
club better, pleae email me at the address below. FunBo's House Of Style is
all about the fans...