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Discuss the finer things in life at the FunBo's House of Style Discussion Boards. CLICK BELOW for your word to be heard!
THE BIG 2-0!!!: Well, this thursday, I'm finally gonna be 20. I feel
like a very old man. I didn't before but thanks to some people telling me that
I am gonna be old soon, I do now. It's kinda sad that I have lived 2 decades
of life and have little to show for it. Sigh!
DID MY PARENTS WANT A DAUGHTER INSTEAD?: I have been in the process
of discovering some horrible truths. It is very possible that my parents had
a tough time dealing with the birth of a boy in my early years. I think they
wanted a girl instead. Sounds crazy, but I have been flipping through some old
photo albums and found some pics that made me a believer. On the left, we see
a pic of me. Observe the doll on the side of the bed. Boys don't play with dolls.
Why me? Check out more evidence below:
As you can see this is pretty depressing for me. If anyone sees my parents
in some chance encounter, please shake your head in disapproval. This one really
hurt.
WE WANT GIRLS!: ...or so you say. Apparently, there are many people
who are upset that I don't have enough pictures of girls on my page. I apologize
for this glaring omission. So for now, I added this picture that Pingu sent
me the other night to tide you down for now. I will add a link to the greatest
page of girl pictures ever in a future issue. Thanks to all who gave me feedback
about this problem.
On a sidenote, in case anyone is wondering who the gorgeous beauty is on the left, it's Prince's ex-wife Mayte Garcia.
MCDONALDS AND THE PANCAKE MURDERS: I forgot to mention an important
story from last week. On New Year's day, before I left for Hodge's, I went to
play football with Jeff and Stephen. We got to the park early and went to McDonald's
for breakfast. I ordered a happy meal and got this toy with a guy from The Emperor's
New Groove. Let me tell you, this is some perverted shit. It looks like the
guy is shooting a wheelbarrow out of his penis. What kind of toy is that for
a kid to have? Anyways, back to my happy meal. They didn't even give me syrup
or utensils so when I got to the hotcakes, I was pissed off. I went and asked
for some syrup and butter. Then I realized I had no fork and knife. I went back
again and got that too. On my way back, I dropped my fork while making an attempt
on jeff's life with it so I had to go back a third time. Finally, I was able
to eat my hotcakes. The hotcakes tasted like crap so I only ate one and played
with the second one. I put two servings of syrup all over the second hotcake
then used the butter to make eyes, nose and a happy face on the hotcake. Then
I thought to myself, this hotcake looks way too happy for something that tastes
awful. So I turned the smile into a frown, stabbed my knife in it's butter eye
and poured some ketchup on it to look like blood (the ketchup was Stephen's
genius at work). After that, we left. We watched the clean-up boy do a double
take when he saw what I did to the pancake. This was truly my best trip to McDonald's
in recent memory. Unfortunately, I didn't have my trusty camera with me, but
I did make up these drawings using Microsoft Paint to recreate the fun as best
as I could.
This was the cleaning boy's face when he saw the pancake.
The cleaning boy almost mimics the pancake's face. Very interesting, if you
ask me.
ONLINE HUMOR SESSIONS: One thing that never ceases to amaze me is how
dumb people can be. A great example of this is this conversation I had with
a girl recently. I must say that alot of the things guys stereotype girls about
are because you sometimes say dumb things like this. Because I am trying to
be a better person, I changed her name to Person X so I don't completely ridicule
her and make her question her existence. Keep an eye especially on the times
of each thing that is said...especially when she goes for an hour and a half
and then comes back to harass me more:
Person X 6:10 PM so I guess we're not on for this week, huh
Fun Bo RC 6:10 PM we were supposed to be on? no one told me about this do
you ever inform people of plans that supposedly involve them? I guess not.
Person X 6:11 PM ok then i don't like you i am going out next week
Person X 6:13 PM i was just kidding that IS ok i am going out this week to
a club with some friends so it's ok
Fun Bo RC 6:14 PM i think you're lying. Otherwise you wouldn't have been so
offended...but have a great time "going out with your friends".
Person X 6:15 PM well, i'm gonna make plans to go out with my friends now
because someone's a jerk.
Fun Bo RC 6:15 PM: You are ridiculous. You made a plan involving my time
without even asking if I already made plans. I think you need to sit in the
corner and take a time-out or soemthing.
Person X 7:47 PM so you are not talking to me no more
Fun Bo RC 7:48 PM i beg your pardon?
Person X 7:48 PM yaaahh are you to cool for me?
Fun Bo RC 7:49 PM i think you need to go easy on the glass pipe...i went upstairs
a while ago while you messaged me and when i came down 5 minutes later you
were offline
Person X 7:49 PM ooooohhh so now i am on crack? oh ok thanx a lot
FunBo RC 7:50 PM please stop talking, I feel myself getting dumber
I don't know, if I get any more conversations like this going on a frequent
enough basis, I will post these more often.
ALBUM UPDATE: An update on my album's progress. I have written two new
songs fairly recently that I will include in the album. One was written around
the end of December and the other I just wrote on in the wee hours of Thursday
morning. Currently, I am flipping through my previous writings to see if I can
find some good stuff in the vault. The aim is to have between 8 and 12 songs
ready for the album. The originally desired release date of summer 2001 may
turn out to be unrealistic, but I will keep you all posted on this matter in
future newsletters and in the message boards.
NO SALMON AWARD THIS WEEK: No one gets the prestigious Salmon Award this week. For the first time in my newsletter's short history, no one has requested to have their own title. If you wish to join the prestigious club, you must email FunBo's House of Style at the address listed at the bottom of the page.
VELOUR PANTS: I wore my velour track pants tuesday and got nothing but
love. It was great. I must say that even though I have had these pants for a
year and a half, the novelty has yet to wear off. They are just so fun to touch.
Although, if ever there were pants made specifically for going commando, these
are the pants. However, I feel like I'm wasting an opportunity by not capitalizing
on this feature.
On a side-note, Graham came over last weekend with Tyler and wore this super
cool Asics tracksuit that was made of red velour. He definitely looked like
a high class pimp. His afro accentuated the look.
OPERATION GROW THE 'FRO: I have decided to grow out my hair. I thought
about how much I love my morning afro and thought to myself that I should just
style my hair like a morning afro. I have begun to do so and it looks marvelous.
Therefore, as of now, I do not plan to cut my hair until spring. Hopefully,
the fro will continue to prosper and begin to take on ugly proportions. If this
happens, fear not, I will cut my hair and return to my super-heroesque good
lucks and charm.
CRAZY DREAMS: I was reading the message boards and J Funkdoobiest said something about wanting a monkey and it reminded me of a crazy messed-up dream I had thursday night. The parts that I remember well are these: I'm inside the building of Moscrop with my friend Jeff and we're running away from something. All of a sudden, we see this monkey who seems very nice, and at first it is nice. But apparently, the monkey is insane. It bites people and takes their energy and as a result, can run faster and becomes crazier. So when it comes down to Jeff and I being the last in the building, the monkey, who is glowing now with a greenish hue, approaches me and starts jumping at me. All I'm doing is trying to slap it away but then the bastard bites my left arm and let me tell you, it hurt like hell. At that point I woke up, and I kid you not, my arm hurt like hell. I think someone is playing an elaborate hoax on me cuz this was not cool at all. Also, monkey, when I find you (and I will), your ass is mine. Count on it.
BALLIN AT THE PARK: I went to the park to play some basketball and expected
to be at the park alone but to my surprise, there were another 5 guys already
playing there. So when I got there, they asked if I wanted to play 3-on-3 and
I obliged. I played without warmup, but it only took me about two minutes to
get in the flow of things. I totally owned that game which is great for my ego.
The highlight was a beautiful steal I made on a inbounds pass that I took for
a 360 reverse layup...very Carter-esque. After the game, I celebrated with two
Sunny Delights.
LIL' GHETTO BOY: Saturday was a night for the ages. More proof that
Burnaby is becoming a ghetto. First, the Chevron on Imperial makes you pre-pay
before you pump your gas. Very ghetto. Then inside the 7-11, some girl was trying
to buy a pack of smokes with some empty bottles and a bag of pennies. Finally,
the dumb bastard inside took forever to understand that my friend wanted 30
dollars of gas. After all that, we were outside and some snaggle-tooth bum in
a tercel with his crack whore girlfriend asked Graham three times if he wanted
to buy some crack. I kid you not, this is totally true. After he got the picture
that the gas station was not the untapped resource of crack heads he thought
it was, he left
To add insult to that episode, we had to make three trips back and forth to
Blockbuster because they kept screwing up on the video game they gave us that
we wanted to rent. We got a free credit for our trouble and put it towards buying
a no-name controller. I was the NHL 2001 king for that night losing only once
by a total fluke. Three of us ate some delicious wings that night too. Ahhh,
good times.
Great moments in ping-pong history are becoming rarer these days. With my dominance
hitting higher levels, the competition is becoming scared. I don't think I've
played against my dad since Christmas. He always says "I don't feel like playing
right now" or "I'm tired". Yeah, good excuse! However, Graham stepped to the
plate recently, but unfortunately, he lost...twice. A rematch is always waiting
for you though. The king still awaits a worthy competitor...
The great pyramid scheme has given way to a bigger pyramid scheme. Instead of telling just one person about the club. Tell everyone you know. There is higher chance of success that way. My genius at math came to that conclusion all on it's own. Yeah!!!
Canada is on a good roll in the entertainemnt industry these days. 13 Days is apparently a really good movie and it stars canadian actor John Doe as JFK in it. Apparently, he did a great job is generating Oscar buzz. Also, the pride of Victoria, Nelly Furtado, is running things in the US. She was yesterday's musical guest on Saturday Night Live. We kick ass...fuckeneh!!!
On friday, I saw Save The Last Dance, and it must surprisingly a good movie. I really didn't go into expecting much more than Jungle Fever meets Bring It On, but the movie was pretty good.
On a sidenote, if adult movies are your thing, Nice Rack #3 is a solid choice.
After a post-NBI visit to the video store, it was deemed worthy. Just in case
anyone here has a closet porn fetish. At FunBo's House of Style, we never discriminate
when catering to your movie review needs.
Thank you to all who have joined the fan club so far. If there is anything you think would make this fan club better, pleae email me at the address below. FunBo's House Of Style is all about the fans...
