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Warren and I enjoying good times...good times.
IT'S OVER!!!: Well last friday, the NBA season ended. My beloved 76ers came up a bit short and lost the series to the Lakers 4-1. I will be gracious in defeat and admit that the Lakers were the better team in the series. Although I cried all night (no joke, I really did cry all night), I've come to realize that the Sixers had an awesome year. The proof of this is hearing all the people who say "I hate the 76ers..blah, blah, blah". In the words of Nas, "when you're on top, there's envy". I can't wait til next year when they all have this experience under the belt as well as a healthy Speedy Claxton in the lineup. 2001-02 is their year!
ODE TO MR. T: Last
weekend, I decided that Mr. T needs some exposure. Mr. T needs to be back in
the limelight. Since his recent resurgence is already underway, I made a song
in the honor of Mr. T. It's all old school beats and Mr. T voice samples. The
song is 1:12. CLICK
HERE TO LISTEN TO MY MASTERPIECE.
QUIETTSTORMM TEXT TOURNEY: Last week or so, I entered a rap battle tournament at www.quiettstormm.com. It was a text tourney so all the verses were posted in text. Being rusty, I expected to be chewed up, but I faired rather well. In the first round, I won a three-way between myself, Direkt Truth and ARITHMATIC. In the second round, I surprised quite a few people at QS by beating a really good emcee there named Treason. I think that was my best verse of the tournament, maybe one of my top battle verses ever. However, my run ended in the semi-finals against one of the best battlers there that I know of, Lincoln Hayes. I put up a good fight against him, in my opinion, but the better man won. The tourney is not finished yet. The final battle is currently between Lincoln Hayes and Amnesia. To see my verses, round by round, click on the following links:
DOWNTOWN: On thursday, I went downtown with Andrea and Emily and it was good fun. Most of the time was spent watching them get shoes. I'm fascinated by a girl's ability to just say "Hmmm, nice shoe, I'll buy it". Aside from shoe purchases, we went to some sushi place and it was good fun. Even though I got set up to not have a menu (grrrr), I ended up on top and ordered through knowledgable mastery of japanese food. I ate with chopsticks for the first time in forever. Then when they were driving me back to work, we went the wrong way by accident and ending up making an excellent beeline to the library and I even got there 3 minutes early. Score! All in all, it was a great day.
GOLF: Jeff and I went golfing on Wednesday. We forgot our scorecards and pencils so we just played skins. I was really really pounding the ball that day. On my ever-legendary, a total of 8 people saw me pound the ball at least 150 yards with a pitching wedge. Yes, I know. That kind of power is not supposed to be humanly possible but remember, I am FunBo. I am immortal and I am unmatchable. Oh yeah, I ended up winning 7 holes to 5, with us tying 6 holes.
TENNIS: Before work on monday, Jeff and I got our tennis on. The first set, I came out with guns blazing. I won 6-2 and then on to the second set. Jeff heated up and I started pulling some dumb stuff. Jeff's second set prowess helped him win 6-3. We didn't have time to play the third set because I had to go to work. Once again, the government screwed me over.
CHURCH BALL: Church ball was a big success last wednesday. I came with the good ole' classic braids and kept it retro with the old Shawn Kemp Sonics jersey. Hell yeah! We had about 15 people come out so we had 3 teams of 5 rotating in and out playing full-court. My team won the first games against each team but then things fell apart. We lost our next two games to the same team. One team ended up losing all their games, and we kept calling them The Grizzlies. Ahhh, good times.
FUNBO MOVIE REVIEWS: On sunday, I spent a relaxing day watching a couple of movies with a friend. The first was a movie central movie called "But I'm A Cheerleader" and the other was "House On Haunted Hill". Here are my reviews.
"But I'm A Cheerleader" was such a classy film. It was about a girl who's a cheerleader, goes to church, gets good grades, blah blah blah. Then her family and friends start this intervention and call her out on being a lesbian. They send her to some turning gay people straight camp and she finally realizes that she really is a lesbian. The movie is really a yay-for-gay film but there were some good girl-on-girl makeout scenes and whatnot which made the movie better. All that aside, it was also a pretty funny movie too. Good times.
"House On Haunted Hill" was not what I expected it to be. I never saw this at the theatre so that might be why I was a little unimpressed. The movie itself was good and I was thinking about things the whole time but as far as it being scary...no. It didn't help that it was hyped up as an actual scary movie. Regardless, it was a good movie, considering I watched it for free.
SALMON AWARD: Why
doesn't anyone want the salmon award anymore? Do you people think you are too
cool for it now? Let's get one thing straight, if one person is the cool one,
it's me. Why, cuz I have a fan club and you don't. And even if you have a fan
club, it either has less fans than me or it sucks. Pick your poison. Anyways,
someone PLEASE step up to the plate.
THE ONION.COM TOP ARTICLES:
Ahhh...good ole onion. I have some good ones from them for all of you this week
WORD ON THE STREET:
Ahhhh, dfilm isn't working and I wanted to make a new movie for this weeks WOTS.
Instead, I am forced to feed you a rerun. Once again, "Mr. T vs. Milkman Dan".
CLICK HERE TO CHECK IT OUT.
FUNBO ALBUM REVIEW: This week, I was really busy so I had a good friend of mine lend me an album review he wrote up recently for his own website. Thank you Three D for this incredible piece (you can visit ThreeD's website, http://www.quiettstormm.com, tailor made for all emcees and poets).
What's up. I've always been a big fan of El-P and Company Flow as a whole. I was kind of sad to hear that Co Flow has broken up but life must go on. In any case, Def Jux is the record label that El-P and Len started. They've got some real live Mcs up there, like Aesop Rock..and Cannibal Ox. I was really lookin' forward to Can Ox's album, "The Cold Vein", and I was sure it would be slammin'. So was it? Let's check it out...
1. Iron Galaxy- This is the first song on this album and it's a real tight track. This song was released prior to the release of this album on a 12 inch along with "Straight off the D.I.C.". So I already knew this song was tight. El-P is a fuckin' marvel on the boards and Vast Air totally steals this song with lines like "If there's crack in the basement, crackheads stand adjacent" and "You were a still born baby, mother didn't want you but you were still born." This is a dope track.. 8.5/10
2.Ox Out The Cage f. El-P- El-P proves once again that he is a master of the keys with this track. Plus, he blesses the mic with some illness as well. Vast Aire comes correct as usual on this track but I feel MC Vordul makes one of his stronger showing on the album on this track. Real good shit once again and the beat is rediculous.. 8/10
3.Atom f. Alaska and Cryptic- The beat on this track is straight up sickness. Both of the Atoms Fam alumni comes real nice on this track and Cannibal Ox rip the track apart. "You're so secure with your insecurites"- Vast Aire.
If you can't get hype off this beat, you are dead. 8.5/10
4.A B-Boy's Alpha- WOW! You know, I don't mean to sound like I'm gassin' this album up but I don't even have to try. It's that damn good y'all. Cannibal Ox lay down some thought-provoking rhymes on this over a REDICULOUS beat El-P hooked up. The way the beat drops at the start of this track is designed to get your head noddin'...off the hook... 9/10
5.Raspberry Fields- This track is something a lot of y'all need to listen to. First off, Vast Aire lets y'all know that just because someones says a word twice in a rhyme, it doesn't make him wack. It's all about how you deliver it..some of y'all need to remember that before you get on your high horse. The beat is crazy..El-P is a master of switching tempo and using unique synths to come up with a hype product. This track also features one of Vordul's more up-tempo deliveries on this album. Another banger.. 8/10
6.Straight Off The D.I.C.- Another song that had an early release along with "Iron Galaxy", this is MC Vordul's best spot on the album. The beat, as fucking usual, is sick. This song also contains some social commentary as Cannibal Ox is known to drop on the reg. Another great song... 8.5/10
7.Vein- This song is tied for the best on the album. In my opinion, this track is one of the best songs of the past year. I have no doubt in my mind about saying that. This track is amazing. The social commentary by Vast Aire and Vordul is both thought-provoking and amazing at the same time. These cats are so good at what they do y'all. I could quote but there are WAY too many lines to do that. And oh..the beat..one of the best I have heard in quite a long time. You cannot hate on this track if you like hiphop. 10/10
8.The F Word- You know, at first I wasn't really feelin' this track for some reason. It's a real switch up on the vibe of this album. But in the end, it really does work nicely. Vast Aire SHINES on this track.."Tell me to talk to the hand again, and I'll read your palm" Vordul does the hook and it all come together nicely. This is one of El-P's more laid-back tracks and it's really good. If you want to hear a different spin on the world of relationships, there isn't much better than this song. 8/10
9.Stress Rap- This is what Cannibal Ox does best as far as the lyrical shit. They are masters of spittin' rhymes about life and how shit is fucked up while maintaining a high level of skill in their delivery. I really am feelin' this track. El-P (and I know I have said it) is so talented. Some people have said he just "presses pretty little buttons" and shit to come up with his tracks. Sole, you are wrong. This beat fits the rhyme perfectly...which is what is supposed to happen. MC Vordul comes real nice on this, as does Vast Aire. 8.5/10
10.Battle for Asgard f. (featuring Life/C Rayz Walz)- This track is not my favorite. Don't get it twisted, I like it but I think it could have been better. The beat is good but I think it's a notch down from the other efforts on this album. Lyrically, this track shines but let's face it, if you don't have a beat that's hype, shit just doesn't work. Ask Canibus I guess. This track is still a good listen though..just a notch below the rest of the album. 7/10
11.Real Earth- Holy shit. This track is incredible. BUT IT'S TOO SHORT!!! El-P mixes traditional hiphop production with some elements of rock. The beat switches are tremendous on this and work perfectly. This track is a solo effort for Vast Aire and he comes real nice..."This ain't a space race, so why you rushin (Russian)" and "This earth is as real as a Chinese fortune cookie in English with lottery numbers". This guy's got more punches than Buster Douglas got in on Mike Tyson. If this track was longer, the score would be higher..but I gotta drop it a little just for NOT BEING LONG ENOUGH! 9/10
12.Rediculoid f. El-P- El-P switches up his production elements on this track and comes with a more "East-Coast" laid back track. I really like this track for a lot of reasons. One, the rhymes on all fronts are just incredible. Two, the production is amazing. Three, the message is there and is hard-hittin'... What more can you ask for? 9/10
13.Painkillers- Not everyone will like this track. The beat is something you either hate or love. I like it so I guess I'm in between. I love how El-P can be so diverse with his production. He uses more elements of production in one track than most producers use on a whole album. Once again, Cannibal Ox rhymes like there is no tommorrow and still manage to come off really nice. I don't know if everyone will like this track, but I sure as shit do. 8/10
14.Pigeons- This track is tied with Vein for the best on the album. This track is another "best of" for the year. If you want to hear something that will literally make you go "Fuck me, this is ill", then listen to this shit. The production is OFF THE FUCKING METER...you have never heard anything like this, ever, ever, ever. El-P brings the rock element into the light one more time by enlisting the services of experimental guitarist Don Dillego on this track. Dillego is fucking amazing with his riffs and style of play. You haven't heard anything like this y'all. I can't stress that enough. This is 7 minutes of pure inspiration on the boards. Plus, Cannibal Ox DESTROY this beat, pick it up, and rip it apart one more time. As far as the creative tip, this track is the best of the past year hands down. You need all of this... 10/10
FINAL SCORE=120/140
AVERAGE SCORE PER SONG=8.57/10
Do I really need to tell you to go and get this album? In my opinion, this is the best album to come out of the underground in the past year. Fuck the underground, I think this is one of the best albums to come out in any genre in the past year. I own this album and I suggest you steal to get it. You can find it at Tower Records. You may have to wait but it's worth the wait..trust me. And oh yeah, there is a bonus track but I am not reviewing it. Let's say it's the third best on the album and leave it at that. My highest recommendation to COP THIS SHIT! I'm out!!
BABE BATTLE 21:
Last week, Bridget Hall gave Karen Mulder a fawning to the tune of 19-4. This
week, Holly Valance goes up against Amada Rosa Perez. CLICK
HERE TO VOTE ON THE BABE BATTLE
BASEBALL POOL: Well I awoke from my baseball pool coma and won this week with ease. I'm still quite far from Jory who remains in first place though. Jory's Farm Team is also picking up steam. Here are the up-to-date standings:
| BIG BAMBINO BABE RUTH (Jory) | 3633 |
| Cool Mother Funkers (Bobby) | 3535 |
| Rocky Balboa (Warren) | 3127 |
| Friday Night (Jerred) | 2967 |
Chris' team continues to
go AWOL.
AFRO NEWS: This week was a great week for the hair. On wednesday, I brought the braids back for church ball. Thursday I went out with my braids still in but I wore a hat over them (and no do-rag...for shame!). But at work, I unleashed the fury and the braids were poppin' off like the Fonz' collar. Geeyeah!!!
WARREN'S COOL THING OF THE WEEK: Warren's cool thing of the week is
his new cousin, Chester. He is seen in the pic with Warren's older cousin (?)
Dylan. Awwwww....
RANDOM NOTES: What hurts more, getting poked in the eye with a coat hanger or having an elastic hit the lens of your glasses? Gee, do you think it's the first one??? I do...I can't stop going to QS nowadays. I'm hooked. Ahhh...Onion came through this week...Eddie Murphy Raw and Eddie Murphy Delirious are still funny as hell, ain't a damn thing changed...I need the cornrows soon cuz I am about to cut my hair...peace love and soullllllll-tronic...I'm out like the old McGill library
Below is the list of past
issues along with some of the highlights:
Thank you to all who have
joined the fan club so far. If there is anything you think would make this fan
club better, pleae email me at the address below. FunBo's House Of Style is
all about the fans...