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Yes, I know that isn't me. But like JJ from Good Times, I am dy-no-mite!
MIKE'S BIRTHDAY:Tuesday, a bunch of us went to the commodore to celebrate mike's birthday, discotronic style. this was probably one of the best club experiences. the music was awesome cuz it's all old school disco stuff that everyone knows and loves. plus there were lots of hot girls there, it was definitely off the limbo in that department. And finally mikey was on fire. He was totally disco that night, g'd up from the feet up. he rocked the disco pants, the brown leather coat with a white shirt under and gold chain. He topped it off with the disco shades and massive fro. This fro would've made julius erving proud. mike was also hitting the drinks hard. we got him two double shots of something that smelled awful. one was a billy bad ass (w/o the 151 cuz they didn't have any) and the other was some triple mix of bacardi, jack daniels and something else that I can't seem to remember. And mike was just running the stage like a madman. smooth as a cactus baby.
Other noteworthy bits were Merlin and Mikes friend, Brandon, working their
mojo that night. Even though I don't really know Brandon at all, he bought four
of us a shot of something (don't know what but it was smooth and tasty). Thanks
man.
BASKETBALL JONES: This week has really made up for last week's lack of good basketball for me. Monday, I went to play at BCIT with Jeff which was pretty good. We started off playing a game of 3-on-3 and my team got smashed pretty good. Jeff was just too huge for everyone and I was having brain cramps missing almost all my shots, most of them very close to the hoop. After that, Jeff and I engaged in a game of 21 and then 1-on-1, where I redeemed myself by winning both. After that, we played another game of 3-on-3. This time I did much better. We had to leave before the game was over so between us, we said next point wins and shortly thereafter I had a fallaway jumper. Jeff still dominated that game and attempted to pull of an amazing dunk. He practically took off from Richmond and was soaring to the hoop but I got a piece of him and he missed. Heh heh heh.
Tuesday, Jeff and I went to go play at the ghetto courts cuz it was a nice day outside. For most of the time, we were just doing dunks and alley-oops. I really wish we had a video camera cuz some of the dunks Jeff threw down were undescribable and amazing. I actually managed to get a couple of dunks in, too. Then we had a game of one-on-one and this is where I immortalized myself in history. My first possesion of the game, I had the ball on the right wing, crossed over and went through the lane and took off. The end result? I dunked on Jeff. For the first time in our series, someone got dunked on in a game. All 6 feet of me going over someone who was nearly six inches in height on me. Sorry to rub it in, but in your face. The funny thing is, after that I made it my goal not to get dunked on and I was bailed out by Jeff missing a couple of amazing dunk attempts. On a sidenote, I won the game.
Wednesday, the good times continued. I went to the court by my house and played
against some asian guys I have never seen before. They are much better than
the younger ones who usually come here, but they were still dazzled by my wizardry.
One guy who's name was Alan told me after "You play very well". Damn right.
WEEKEND IN VICTORIA: Well the weekend in Victoria was unreal. From the jumpoff, everything just jumped off. It was a pretty eventful weekend, so I will break it down on a day-by-day basis.
FRIDAY: Jory and I caught the 2pm ferry and got to Manzone by about 5ish, I guess. When we got there, we started to watch "Life Is Beautiful"...great movie. The highlight was at the end when it made Cory cry. The real fun started a few hours later. Cory found a flare in the basement so a few of us went to the park to light it off while Warren watched from his roof. The flare left us seeing a big red spot for at least a minute or two. But it sure was fun while it lasted. After that, Warren and I got cracking on making some chicken wings and potatoes. Jory balked on the grub and ate a huge tub of ice cream and a carton of orange juice. It was quite the barbaric display. Later, Warren's buddy Mike came over and everything was gravy from then. First, we went to Mike's house to watch some Jackass movies on his computer. After that,a bunch of us went over to the Wilson building for a party there. People were throwing bottles at doors just to see them break, singing Garth Brooks and just generally going insane. The ringleader of insanity was good ole Mike. He broke a broom, then he went into some girl's room and took a beer from her fridge. She saw him come out and just lost it. Then she told her friend and she lost it. Mike, being a drunken fool, was confused and thought his only way out was to slap the girl. The girl just happened to be the girlfriend of one of Mike's friends. So she told her boyfriend and then a bunch of gangsterness was just popping off. I tried to be the voice of reason (I am now known around Wilson as Don King...Warren is known as the guy with the 2-6). Eventually, they decided to fight while many of us looked on. As a neutral spectator I must say Mike could've given this guy the business cuz he had his right hand free the whole time but he was a good man and decided not to beat down his friend. Mike's problem was that he believed he was right (CLICK HERE for his HILLARIOUS drunken icq explanation on why he did what he did). After all this was done, we sent Mike back to his room to ponder what he did and go to sleep. We left for 7-11 and then returned to Manzone for a good ole game of Knockout Kings 2001. After that, I went to play Jory in a game of 21 while I was tanked in the pitch black night. Either way, I won both games. Yeah!!!
SATURDAY: Warren's rabbit, Boo, was all over my face last night so it
was hard to sleep. But today was the day of celebrating Warren's bday, not thinking
of bad sleep. But first, Darcy gave me a taste of 21 with some ghetto styles.
Our game took forever, but I finally did him in. Shortly after, he did me in.
So we decided we would go back to home base and settle this later. We watched
the Saturday Night Live 25th anniversary video and when they were showing Al
Green singing "Let's Stay Together", I said what the hell and decided to sing
it for Warren's birthday. It was a remarkable performance. I've noted that it
is much easier to sing in the presence of Warren than in the presence of a girl.
I need to work on that. Moving along though, Brie Andrea Emily and Alicia came
over that afternoon to help Warren celebrate his bday. Later, Chrissy, Megan
and Nadia came over to give Warren his cake and a special present. I must say
that all of us there were surprised when Warren unwrapped the gift and it was
the highlight reel. Not a pretty sight at all. Anyways, everyone moved on and
we had the great ice cream cake and ate it with some high class "fourchettes".
After that, Warren and I made some great pasta and used the sausages I got for
a player's price in the sauce. This meal was the epitome of greatness. After
dinner, Warren's buddies Mike and Alister came over and we watched Braveheart
and drank 'til we had to go. We took some booze for the busride and made our
way downtown. We got to the club about 45 minutes early so we went to get some
pizza and watch the Oilers game for a bit. We finally got to the club at 9:30
and it was pretty sweet. Club was packed, music was dope and I was on fire.
Mikey was back to starting trouble with some big oafy looking goon who liked
to dance with ugly girls. The guy fronted like he wanted trouble but nothing
happened. We left the club at around 2 something and then went to catch a cab.
Eight of us waited forever and still had no luck. Warren called Jory to pick
him up so Warren, Megan and Nadia went with Jory while Darcy, Mike, Nichol,
Alex and I took a cab. We got to 7-11 and Darcy, Mike and I paid our dues and
left the cab. I regretted doing that but what can you do. Anyways, we were all
there except for the Burnaby girls who were sleeping in the car for God knows
what reason. Except for Alicia cuz she picked up. So Warren broke out the Baby
Duck for himself and Mike and they hit that bottle good. We had a slumber party
of non-stop g styles in Darcy's room and then eventually, people left and we
hit the sack. I was not about to let Boo maraud my face again so I built the
bed fort of Babylon and Boo couldn't get me.
SUNDAY: Luckily I slept well last night but I still felt like crap when
I woke up. At around 12:30 or 1 pm, Warren, Jory and I went to Maude's for breakfast
and we discussed many matters there. To keep our words strictly between the
three of us (and probably the guys at the next table), we created a secret handshake
called the "triangle of trust". So after breakfast, we went back to Manzone
and took it easy. Warren went into his room to smoke with Jimbo and after that
we all went to the gym to play basketball. Our team was Mike, Warren, Jory,
Karl and I. We were playing against people that seemed like they played together
on a team every day. I honestly think that these 5 or 6 guys even slept together
they seemed so close. Anyways, we really could've and should've won but we didn't.
With my great point guard play, Warren's great defence, Mike owning the inside,
Jory dropping bombs from outside and Karl's hustle on offence, we could've won
but we had some defensive lapses and we weren't organized on offence. I think
that if Chrissy was there to play for us, we would've won easily. But it wasn't
to be. Oh well. After basketball, we went back home to watch The Saint. Pretty
bad movie and that's all I'm gonna say about it. After that, Warren Jory and
I went to Kelly's for dinner. She made us pasta and some killer sauce and we
had ice cream too. Jory also made the hillarious discovery of her two hamsters
(which she thought were both males) having about 8 babies. Hahahaha. What makes
it funny is that her roommate and her got two males specifically to avoid babies
and this happens. That is too funny. Later, we left and thanked Kelly for being
an incredibly gracious host. Kelly, you rock! After that, it was back to Manzone
for some serious Knockout Kings action where Cory reigned supreme on all of
us. Darcy and I also went halfers on this incredible meal of god's that he made.
It was very classy. Before I ate, I proofread Warren's paper which I must say
was a pretty good paper. Later, everyone hit the sack and it was lights out.
Bed fort of babylon defeated Boo's attempts to thwart my sleep again. Victory
is mine. (On a sidenote, the next day before we left, Darcy and I had our raw
dog match of 21 to declare a winner and I broke him off, ghetto style and just
demolished him). It was a cold day and my ghetto stardom was too much.
So overall, that was the weekend as thoroughly as I could explain it. It was a definite experience so I wanna thank everyone in Vic for making it good times.
SALMON AWARD: This week's winner of the Salmon Award is Jerred Friday.
Jerred has now achieved perfection as "The Ambassador of Canadian Alcohol And
Narcotics At United Stated Social Events". Good stuff and a reminder to all
to keep those titles coming.
BABE BATTLE 9: Well last week, the battle was closer than previous weeks.
I honestly don't know how it was close but Jessica Alba did the expected and
gave Jennifer Lopez the business by beating her 15 votes to 9. This week, Sports
Illustrated Swimsuit covergirl Elsa Benitez battles supermodel extrodinaire
Josie Maran. CLICK HERE TO VOTE ON THIS WEEK'S BATTLE.
JORDAN XVI'S ARE MINE: I finally buckled down and got the Air Jordan
XVI's. I was dissappointed to find out that the SPC discount was a puny 10 bucks
off so they still costed a few cents under 240 bones. Not cool, but the shoes
are goregeous and they are extremely comfortable. No complaints from me. I gave
them an indoor test run at Vic and an outdoor test in the ghetto.
SURVIVOR 2: Another tribal council, another Kuchan gets the boot. Last
week, Alicia got voted off. Basically, she was too much of a threat to the other
castaways and just too good of a contender (kinda like Gretchen from the original
Survivor). The votes were down the middle again, but Alicia ended up on the
short end getting 5 votes, just one more than the 4 gathered by everyone's least
favorite, Jerri. Other notes from the episode, Jerri won a food challenge where
the winner got this huge elaborate meal served. The challenge involved throwing
a boomerang from flag and getting your boomerang closest to the flag. Jerri
was told to choose one person to join her for dinner and, naturally, she took
her puppet Amber with her. In the immunity challenge, Keith won yet again in
some thinking game that involved using ropes on poles to make squares. Other
than that, the tribe is unifying and drawing lines of allegiance, and I do believe
that Jerri's time is coming very soon. Only time will tell.
AFRO NEWS: On wednesday, I had a very solid afro. Being a generous man, I went to the basketball courts to let others bask in the glory of my hair. Other than that, the only worthy afro news I can bring this week is that the birthday boy Mike Kilby had the most beautiful afro. I only dream of having something like that.
WARREN'S COOL THING OF THE WEEK:Warren's cool thing of the week this issue is a very classy luxury...Baby Duck Champagne. It smells like vinegar and it's probably the cheapest bottle of champagne you can get. It doesn't get any better than that.
Below is the list of past issues along with some of the highlights:
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