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COMING TO VICTORIA: To all my friends in Vic, Jory and I are coming
down this weekend to help celebrate Warren's birthday. So clear out your weekend
and get ready for a weekend of FunBo style domination. yeah!
BASKETBALL JONES: This week has been extremely weak for basketball.
On monday, I went to practice my shooting and the crazy man who lives just behind
the court struck again. He came out to his porch with his broom and was yelling
some jibberish (kinda like Adam Sandler in "Billy Madison"). I was scared cuz
he was pointing and looking at me and I was the only one there. Plus, he is
old and crazy. But he went back in for a bit, then came back out and sweeped
his porch while smoking a cigarette, staring at me the whole time. Eventually,
that decrepid old bastard went in for good and the menace was over. Damn old
people.
Wednesday was fun cuz I went to play in the ghetto. Unfortunately, the court
was covered in broken glass from an empty 40 that someone smashed on the court.
It took me fifteen minutes to sweep it to the side with my shoe. After that
was done, I saw one of my old friends who I played baseball with. He was walking
his dog but he stopped to play a few games of 21. We got to catch up on stuff
and that was good and to top it off, I won 21 2 games to 1. Good times for all.
Thursday afternoon, there was a very brief one hour game at the court by my
house. There really isn't much memorable to note except that our team won (naturally).
On a sidenote, can you believe that in that pic, Vince Carter was only in high
school. Unbelievable that someone only 17 or 18 could do that.
END OF NAZI REGIME?: The Nazi regime at the library may be over. Two
of my co-workers stepped to the plate and talked to the big cheese about this
sad environment we've had to work through for the past couple of weeks. I was
working that day but only time will tell if things have really changed. On a
sadder note, the old people continue to mock me.
(Yes, this picture has nothing to do with the library or their nazi tactics. But their idiocy is sometimes reminiscent of a rhino on skis. That's kinda catchy now that I think about it..."You're as smooth as a rhino on skis"...haha).
C-WALK: Many people have been asking me what the c-walk is exactly. Other people just have the same admiration for it as I do. Some very strange and odd people may not even care. No matter what category you fall in, you have to see this video. This guy can do things with his feet that you wouldn't believe. He proves why the c-walk is the best dance step. Check out this sweet video by clicking on the link below.
DUMB CRIMINALS: Someone told me the greatest work story involving a dumb criminal. This is 100% true cuz I heard it from a few people. At a dental office, the receptionist was gone from her desk and no one else was in the room and a man saw 10 dollars on the desk. The guy took it and just as he was leaving the receptionist saw him. She went after him and he was way ahead of her, then she says "Excuse me, could you please stop?". And the guy actually stopped. Then she said "Now I believe you have something of mine and I really need that". Then the guy walks back and gives it to her. Now I don't condone criminal activity or anything, but this guy is an idiot. I've tried but I don't understand why he would steal 10 bucks, be able to make a clean (more or less) get-away and then stop. Did he have some sudden attack of conscience? Unbelievable. He must have been American or something.
In case you were wondering why there is no picture for this, I have a reason.
I was gonna post a pic of a wanted criminal but all the ones I found were for
fugitive muderers. I'm scared that they would see the pic and hunt me down and
add me to the victim list. Call me paranoid but better safe then sorry. After
all, who would carry on my legacy and take care of the newsletter?
RAKIM SIGNS WITH AFTERMATH:One of the greatest rappers of all-time has
now joined forces with one of the greatest hit makers in the history of rap.
Rakim signed with Dr. Dre's Aftermath Records last October (how I didn't know
this, I have no idea). His new album is gonna be called "Oh My God" and is supposed
to come out this spring. Being a huge fan of both, I can't wait for this to
come out. Aside from Dr. Dre, DJ Premier and Dre's protege, Mel Man, will also
do some producing on the album.
"Z" PRIZES:Tuesday, I went to Z95.3's offices to pick up my prize. Not
that I am not grateful to win, but they are way out in the boonies. That was
one hell of a ride, they are like way out past Richmond, in the bushes of Steveston.
It's not that it is far as much as it is so secluded. Anyways, I got there and
it was cool and I got all my stuff. The coolest thing was that the jersey actually
said "To Bobby" on it. I thought that was cool, but now I can't auction it off
if I ever need some expensive operation or something. Oh well, I'm happy.
SALMON AWARD:This week's winner of the more-presitigious-as-of-late
Salmon Award is Jordan Ciarniello. Let it be known that from this day forth,
he will known as "The Commissar of the 21st union of the Canadian antelopic
defensive stand against poodle yetis". Way to go, man. That is one killer title.
BABE BATTLE 8:For the second week in a row, we have had an absolute drubbing
in babe battle. Laetitia Casta layed the boots to Gisele Bundschen, winning
18 votes to 4. This week, Puffy's ex-partner in crime faces the daunting task
of trying (keyword: trying) to beat the only example of true beauty on TV or
movies today...the always stunning Jessica Alba. Let the battle begin. CLICK
HERE TO VOTE ON THIS WEEK'S BATTLE.
COYOTE'S JACK MOVE: Thursday, Graham and I went to Wild Coyote. It was
pretty good, however we really went for one reason. Thursday is the battle of
the sexes where guys and girls have a stripping competition to see who is the
braver sex. Now after the famed story of the recent thursday where, during battle
of the sexes, two girls (for lack of a better term) took a liking to each other,
we knew we had to be there. However, about 30 minutes before they were gonna
close, the mc pulls some weak cop-out about having technical difficulties and
how there will be no battle of the sexes. Also surprising, not many people we
knew were there. Normally, there is. But we did see Andrea, Emily and Brie there.
Anyways, the whole hoax about the battle of the sexes left us both pissed off
and we left with the quickness.
FUNBO MOVIE REVIEW "GET OVER IT": This past weekend, I continued my
ritual of watching all teen movies that come out by seeing "Get Over It". It's
takes the theme of modernizing a work of Shakespeare (in this case, "A Midsummernight's
Dream") the way "10 things I Hate About You" was a remake of "Taming Of The
Shrew". Anyways, to not ruin the movie, I steal the movie description from the
official site:
High school sweethearts Berke (Ben Foster) and Allison (Melissa Sagemiller) were the perfect couple. Then she dumped him. Now, it's up to Berke's best friends, Felix (Colin Hanks) and Dennis (Sisqó), to help him forget about his ex -- when all he wants is to get her back. That is, until Felix' younger sister, Kelly (Kirsten Dunst), comes into the picture. She's got her own ideas (and feelings) for Berke. But how can she turn his head when it's already spinning? Before they can get on with it, she's got to help him Get Over It!
I would also like to add that Kirsten Dunst is radiant as always in this movie.
I think she is absolutely gorgeous.
SURVIVOR 2: Well Survivor is now really underway, the first episode of the merger was done and Jeff of the Kuchans found himself getting the short end of the stick. The vote went into a tiebreak and was a deadlock and Jeff had more votes cast against him than the other candidate for going home, Colby. So Jeff is out. Basically, all that happened was the two sides sent representatives to talk to each other and talk tribal stuff. Then the two tribes came to a neutral site to form the Baramundi (i think) tribe. Their new color is orange. Good non-offensive color. The immunity challenge was crazy. The castaways had to stand on pillars in the water as long as possible. Every few hours, the host came with bribes to people who would come off, and slowly they each came off. It went for more than 10 hours and Alicia, Tina and Keith were left standing. The host came one last time and Alicia took a bribe, leaving Tina and Keith. Keith cried like a worried batch and said that he needed this one, so Tina was a team player and gave it up. Keith won immunity and after almost half a day, the challenge was done.
AFRO NEWS: On tuesday, I rocked the most solid fro. It had crazy volume,
extreme fluffyness and the shape was off the hizzle. I topped it off with the
bandana headband cuz North Burnaby people are hard like that. haha.
WARREN'S COOL THING OF THE WEEK: Warren's cool thing for this week are the urinal pads that reveal a funny message when you pee on them. They're normally found in clubs in the men's bathroom. The last one I saw said "Sex is like air: it's not important unless you're not getting any". Spoken like a wise owl.
Below is the list of past issues along with some of the highlights:
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