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GRAHAM'S BIRTHDAY: Attention everyone, we're gonna celebrate Graham's birthday on friday at the Wild Coyote and he wants everyone to come so clear out friday night and help him celebrate his big 2-0. Hope to see you all there.
THE QUIET GAME GOES BAD: Monday, I was in the middle of a great quiet
game with my co-worker while we were working. However, 1 hour and 50 minutes
into it, things went horribly wrong. One of the librarians had a big fit over
nothing and decided to go on a power trip to end our game for no reason. How
the hell does being quiet affect your working negatively. That is the most idiotic
thing I heard and I feel dumber for having heard that. That is just another
thing pushing me over the edge at work. If anyone knows how to keep the feeling
of snapping on people from taking over your mind, please tell me because I am
having troubles.
GOLFING: I went to the driving range with Andrea last week and it was
fun. I was spraying the ball everywhere which was insane. However, I didn't
do as good as I did last time when I went with Jory. I tried using a driver
for the first time ever and I must say those clubs are mental. Very uncool how
hard they are to use. Andrea kept pretending she wasn't good, which isn't true.
Anyways, it was really short but it was fun.
VALENTINE'S DAY: Valentine's Day was pretty fun. First off, Warren sent
me a cool email card so I want to say thanks for that. Later that night, I went
to Cactus Club on Broadway with some friends and then I went to a party. I am
happy cuz I left with a flower and a cool Ziggy valentine. So all in all, my
Valetine's Day this year was a good experience, especially considering that
last year, I spent the early hours of Valentine's Day in the hospital with the
flu and food poisoning. Hopefully, everyone else had a kick-ass Valentine's
Day.
CHARLIZE THERON ON LENO: Speaking of Valentine's fun, did anyone catch Jay Leno on Valentine's Day? Charlize Theron was on and she was hammered. It was so funny. For everyone's convenience, I taped her segment of the show so if anyone wants, they can borrow it. If you haven't seen it, you must because it will go down in late night talk show history like when Drew Barrymore flashed David Letterman for his birthday or when Farah Fawcett went banana bread on Leno.
SALMON AWARD: This week's winner of the Salmon Award is Farah Colah.
Exit regular Farah, enter "Farah...the future Lady of the House of Windsor".
Congratulations.
BASKETBALL JONES: My week in basketball started off in amazing fashion on monday. Jeff and I went to play at Wesburn's basketball court. The backboard is aluminum and the hoops have a double rim so it's just balling out of control. However, we had our greatest game ever. In a game up to 11, we went to 12 extra points back and forth and finally after what seemed like forever, I won 17-15. I won the game on a circus shot where I went up with left and switched hands and windmilled the ball in with my right hand. I was crying about how no one caught that moment on camera or tape because it was legendary. It proved that with a black bandana and the eye of the tiger, dreams can come true.
My worst nightmare just about materialized on thursday however. I went to go shoot around for about 30 minutes and when I was done and started walking home, I saw this big dog all alone with no collar or anything. I like dogs so I thought I would play with it and as I approached to pet it, the dog was spitting out some bad intentions and tried to bite my hand. What resulted was me in a grueling 10 minute escape over fields and fences like the ones you see in movies. I finally managed to get close to my house where I climbed the fence that goes into my backyard and I went through our door in the back to safety. My legs were incredibly sore and I learned not to pet big stray dogs with no owner. They are obviously very jaded animals.
Finally, on sunday evening, Graham and I hit the ghetto courts to play a little one-on-one. We decided to have a three games series. I won the first game but as it got darker and darker, Graham turned it on and won the last two in impressive fashion to take the series 2-1. Most impressive in the comeback was how he was down 8-3 in the second game and only 3 points away from losing the series but rallied back. It was a good series.
WORD ON THE STREET "DRUNKEN SPECTACLE": This week's word on the street
is a tale of the hardships of a man who drank his way into trouble, hit rock
bottom and found a blessing in disguise. A touching story for the whole family...well
maybe not.. CLICK HERE FOR THE WORD ON THE STREET.
THE
AFRO ADVENTURES: This week, my hair has taken a beating. All the time at work, I am confronted by patronizing questions on what I am planning to do with my hair. This is really pissing me off but if these old decrepid bastards think they can bug me into cutting my hair or whatnot, guess again. Never ever.
Also to George, my barber at Canada Way Barber Shop, if you are reading this,
you're still the greatest and I am coming to visit you hopefully when Warren
comes here and gets his haircut.
CANDY IN THE MAIL: This past week, I got my best birthday gift. Marisa
sent me my candy care package in the mail and it was incredible. She scoured
all of Washington to find me not one, but two packs of Now And Laters. Also,
she added in some cookies, a blow pop and some Oompas. I'll tell you now, the
way to a man's heart is through candy...at least, my heart.
LOPEZ AND PUFFY CALL IT QUITS: This was the best news I heard all week.
I'm so happy she left that plague and is now a free woman. I think Chris Rock
had the best quote about the situation when he told Conan O'Brian "I'm so excited,
Conan! I'll race you to her ass".
SHOE SHOPPING:This past weekend, I went shoe shopping. Friday I pulled
the most boneheaded move. I saw the shoes I wanted and I was gonna wait til
the next day to buy them. Why? I don't know. I went the next day, and they were
all sold out. Sure I could go to another store, but every other store has them
for at least 20 dollars more. The picture on the left is of the shoes that broke
my heart.
BABE BATTLE 5:Last week in Babe Battle, Angelina Jolie jumped to an
early lead and hung on to beat Shannon Elizabeth 14 votes to 10. This week,
it's an all-musical battle with Jessica Simpson against Britney Spears. CLICK
HERE TO VOTE ON THIS WEEK'S BATTLE.
SURVIVOR 2 UPDATE: This week, it was abnormally tall Mitchell who got the short end of the stick in a close tribal council. After two ties in voting with Keith, Mitchell lost based on votes cast against in previous tribal councils where he had one vote and Keith had none. Mitchell didn't help his cause by saying he was tired and exhausted and all that when they each got a chance to plead their case to stay. More exciting stuff came from none other than Michael. He took Lord of the Flies to the next level when after his tribe won three chickens and a rooster, he went and murdered a pig. It was great. After he killed it, he put some of it's blood under his eyes. It was a great moment in the history of primal rage. My interest in Mike winning totally shot up after that. Colby has proven to have no backbone because he sways back and forth with who he wants to side with on the show. I think he is a fool because the youngsters are where it's at in Survivor. My prediction on who to watch for is Amber. She just blends into the background and is on good terms with the younger castaways. She'll be dangerous when the tribes merge.
Below is the list of past issues along with some of the highlights:
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