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This same picture is on my desk for inspiration while I work on the computer.
PING-PONG: This weekend, I came back from my long slumber to resume domination. Saturday at Tyler's, I played Tyler and beat him and then in a freak accident, I lost pretty handily to Graham, only to bounce back and beat Tyler and then Graham. Graham and I now have two series going on. The best-of-three series at my house is tied 1-1 and the best-of-seven at Tyler's house is tied 1-1. I will update you on my future beatings of Graham.
On Sunday, I continued my ping-pong murder spree by playing Jory. In our first game, before I even warmed up well. I beat him 21-0. I didn't even take off my watch which means I wasn't 100% serious. I won the next two games 21-1 and 21-6. This must have definitely set a record for fewest points against in three matches combined. My confidence is now at an unparalleled level.
theonion.com TOP ARTICLES:Once again, I have come through with some solid articles from the definitive source of humor, The Onion
BASKETBALL JONES:Monday, I went to the ghetto court to play a game but to my surprise, some guy ripped down one of the hoops, so there is only one hoop left which means no full court games. Either way, after I demolished everyone in bump we played 3-on-3 and my team lost because a super close, but good, game.
Again, on wednesday, I played at the ghetto (there was no church ball today because a lot of us wanted to watch the Canucks game and half of it would be on during the time we play). This time, there was only four of us and it got boring in a hurry. It didn't help that three of us were considerably better than one of the people there so it made the teams unfair no matter what.
Thursday, some of us went on a search to play basketball. We went to the church at 8 pm but the gym was being used for some old ladies tea. We then went to BCIT only to find their gym being completely occupied by badminton players. Now we were off to Burnaby South to use their gym, but they were having their last dance of the year so we were forced to play outside which was bad news eventually cuz it got dark. That meant no one could see anything. We split the two games we played.
SALMON AWARD: Jeff Sadgrove won a bet with me and was supposed to tell
me what his new promotion for salmon award was supposed to be but he is currently
asleep at the wheel. Until next week, and keep the requests for your own salmon
award coming my way (starberry3@home.com).
BABE BATTLE 14:Last week, Alison Armitage beat out Salma Hayek in a squeaker
11-10. This week, I found another two gems in the archives of IGN.com's babe
of the day site: Sarah Spraker goes against Roberta Barrera. CLICK
HERE TO VOTE ON THIS WEEK'S BATTLE.
HONORARY WORD:I got so much funny stuff this week from people, I decided to save my WOTS for next week. Plus I left the comic at my friend's house. Anyways, I passed on that cool soccer ball game to everyone called keepy upy. I had 33 and thought my score was unbeatable. Jerred then really showed me by getting 47. Unfortunately, by the time he achieved this score, Cory had already reached the incredible score of 104. Cory, you are a king.
Also, I received two really cool webpages that show hillarious videos. One is of a stickman doing some elaborate martial arts scene. It is probably the coolest thing I saw all week. To check this sweet video, CLICK HERE (If it doesn't work, email me because I have a second link to the video). The other cool video I got is some weird techno video collage and song thing. It pretty much mocks the poor english translation in an old sega genesis game called Zero Wing. It's pretty funny. To see it, CLICK HERE.
That's all the goods I got this week. I will definitely bring the funk with next week's Word On The Street.
FRENCH FRIES: On Friday night, I was at a friend's house and I managed to eat a whole bag of McCain fries. It wasn't the normal bag either. It was one of those massive Costco sized bags. To boot, they were just plain fries, not the delicious seasoned curly fries that anyone can eat forever. To make it more filling, I added seasoning salt and lots of ketchup. However, I did this for a bet. Don't think I did this just to show that I can. I am now a french fry king. This goes well with my previous title of Wing King that I earned last New Year's.
CANUCKS PLAYOFF UPDATE:Game three of the Canucks-Avalanche series took place monday. The first time we have seen a playoff game in our city since 1996. All was well for most of the game. Then with the Canucks leading 3-2, Drake Berehowsky took a dumb penalty and the Av's scored to tie the game on the powerplay. On that same powerplay, Dennis Pedersen had a breakaway but was just gliding along and let the defence catch him. Then in overtime, we were about to get a powerplay but Todd Bertuzzi had a brain cramp and took the dumbest Canucks' penalty of the season and offset the Av's penalty. Shortly after, due to some shotty defending, Peter Forsberg broke every Canucks fan's heart and won the game for Colorado.
Game four went on wednesday and it was bad enough we were down 3 games to none in a best of seven series, but now our goaltending savior Bob Essensa aka Sideshow Bob was hurt. So in came Dan Cloutier and in his defence he played well for most of the game, then he just let in some real softies. This game was the worst of all the games and the Canucks played pretty bad. They seemed to lack any kind of desperation you would need when facing elimination. The end result was a 5-1 win for Colorado. Golfing season has now begun for the Canucks.
BASEBALL POOL UPDATE:As I predicted, this was my comeback week. I beat Jory in week 3 and cut his lead by 6 points. I might have done better were it not for a horrible few days. Until thursday, I was doing horribly and falling behind by more and more, almost falling into third in our group. But a 97 point day on thursday changed things around and I ended up having the best week 3 score in our group. My rise will continue and I will soon be on top. Here are the overall standings after 3 weeks:
| BIG BAMBINO BABE RUTH (Jory) | 1077 |
| Cool Mother Funkers (Bobby) | 1014 |
| Rocky Balboa (Warren) | 912 |
| Friday Night (Jerred) | 843 |
Chris' team continues to go without a roster.
SURVIVOR 2:The Survivors this week got to chat online at the makeshift Internet Cafe with their families back home. Their was a contest after where each survivor's family members would have to answer questions online and the winner got to talk for 30 mins with their survivor family member. Tina's family won. The other survivors got to say a quick goodbye and then leave. Keith proposed to his girlfriend and she said yes. The next day, a fight over rice began between Keith and Colby. Much like a girlfriend scorn, Colby said "My game with Keith is over". Bitch. The immunity challenge had everyone shackled up and they had to go from station to station in some cattle area and answer questions. A correct answer got them a key to one of the locks on the shackles. Whoever had the most locks unlocked at the finish line would win. Keith answered all the questions correctly first but lost a lock and had to look in the dark for it. With that, Colby turned it on and won immunity yet again. Before tribal council, Tina asked Elisabeth and Rodger who should go if it comes down to them. Rodger said he should go cuz Elisabeth and her sick mom need the money more. And so, it all came down to Colby's vote and he voted Rodger out. Elisabeth cried worse than the day I found out that Fox cancelled Martin.
AFRO NEWS: Not much news in the land of odd hair. I had some pretty
sweet fro going on during my basketball games causing one onlooker to say "holy
shit, your hair's getting long". Sunday was the best day for my increasingly
popular fro. I topped off the look with my bummy Toronto Blue Jays shirt that
is about 10 years old. It was a really classy look I had going on.
FUNBO RECORD REVIEW: This week, I want to bring to everyone's attention
of a sweet old school album that was re-released recently. It's Shuggie Otis'
"Inspiration Information". This is by far one of the best old albums I've heard.
Shuggie was one of the best guitarists in the 60's ang 70's and was even approached
to join The Rolling Stones when Mick Taylor left the band. It's a pretty good
album that fuses the sounds of west coast psychadelia, funk and blues and it
still stands strong 30 years after it's creation. Some of the better songs are
the title track, "Aht Uh Mi Hed" and, the song Outkast samples for Ms. Jackson,
"Strawberry Letter 23".
WARREN'S COOL THING OF THE WEEK:Thanks to my tardiness with the newsletter, Warren was able to squeeze in his cool thing of the week. Warren's cool thing is olives. He says they are "wonderful little critters". I'm totally lost on this one.
RANDOM NOTES: I saw a cool Ferrari when I went to the mall the other day. It was red...Kobe Bryant married his super hot fiancee last wednesday in a private ceremony. Britain's two best boxers fell hard recently. "Prince" Naseem Hamed got tagged by Marco Antonio Barrera and over the weekend, Lennox Lewis fell in the biggest upset in recent memory when he got knocked out in the fith round by Hasim Rahman...In the Playboy baseball pool, Jory is actually doing really good. He's in the top 500. Pretty good considering he forgot his login and password and hasn't updated since we started...Jay Leno has yet to write me back about being on the show...I wrote to jazz vocalist Carl Anderson (best known for his role as Judas in Jesus Christ Superstar) and he wrote me back the next day. What a class act!
Below is the list of past issues along with some of the highlights:
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