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Asleep at the wheel, and still putting out the million dollar smile!
CANUCKS VS. KINGS: Last thursday, the Canucks played the Kings in what would be their biggest game of the season. If the Canucks won and the Phoenix Coyotes lost, we would be in the playoffs. I went to the game with my parents and it was the best show ever. The Cancuks won 3-2 in overtime and Phoenix lost 3-0 that night so the Canucks are in. From the moment, I got to my seat, I could feel the power. Markus Naslund came out to accept the Molson Cup for March and that got the crowd flying. When he raised one of his crutches and said "thank you", the crowd got even louder. It was right then when I knew the Canucks would win. When he raised his crutch, it was like Moses raising his staff and Markus Naslund was saying "let my people go...to the playoffs". Other cool things were all the great chants. All night long, the crowd chanted "Bob E" everytime Bob Essensa made a great save (that sounds great to me when 18,422 people chant out what basically sounds like Bobby every couple of minutes). Former Canuck sieve Felix Potvin heard it all night. The crowd either booed him or chanted "Fee-lix" to get on him. After the winning goal in overtime, I threw a foam cow that my dad brought to the game with the words "POTVIN SUCKS" written on it. I got it on the ice from almost the top row. After the game, the chants continued. Even in the bathroom, everyone was chanting "Stan-ley-cup". It was the best atmosphere there. From beginning to end, the crowd was rocking and I couldn't have asked for a better time. Bring on the first victim of towel power.
theonion.com TOP ARTICLES: Recently, a loyal FunBo-holic hipped me to a sweet webpage with lots of good satirical articles. Some of them are so funny, I decided to make a weekly column of my three favorite articles or editorials. Click below to see them.
BASKETBALL JONES: Tuesday, I went back to my old townhouse to get some friends and we played some basketball at the ghetto courts. It was pretty sweet cuz we haven't all played together in a while so it was nice to get back to the old stomping grounds and have some fun. We played well into the dark and it was good times.
Wednesday marked the first official weekly basketball game at the church. Being the showman I am, I arrived with my braided into about 20 braids. I thought it looked pretty funky. Anyways, we only had 5 people show up this week: Me, Graham, Graham's brother, Chris and Andrew. Our plan is to have more people show up next week so we can play full-court (once again, anyone who wants to, feel free to come). Last week, we played 2-on-2 games. Graham and I formed a team that was nearly invincible. Inspired by Meet The Parents, we called ourselves "The Fockers". We won the first 5 games we played, including a dominating 11-0 performance. Unfortunately, in game 6, the fatigue of being a dominant team and not getting any rest caught up with us and we lost. The dynasty was over. After that, it was slurpees for all. A good way to cap off a good night of ball.
SALMON AWARD: No one stepped to the plate recently so there is no Salmon Award this week. I encourage anyone who hasn't received the Salmon Award to email me with a title they want to have.
BABE BATTLE 12:Last week's battle was totally close until the last minute. Last time I checked, SI Swimsuit models Heidi Klum edged out Tyra Banks 12 votes to 11. The trend of close battles hopes to continue this week. Both girls in this week's battle were recommendations: Model Caprice Bourret vs. Gabrielle Richens (her nickname is "the pleasure machine"...that's good enough for me). CLICK HERE TO VOTE ON THIS WEEK'S BATTLE.
WORD ON THE STREET "TEDDY'S PARTY": Exams are coming up, which means one thing. As soon as they are over, parties will run rampants and chaos wille ensue. Word On The Street honors the good old college house party. CLICK HERE TO READ THE WORD ON THE STREET.
PING-PONG: Tuesday afternoon, after Jory and I went out for breakfast, we came back for some ping-pong action. Not knowing the power of King Pong, Jory challenged me. Equipped with my special paddle "Cobra Rouge" aka the murder paddle, I demolished him multiple times including a 21-1 drubbing and a 21-14 victory while playing on my knees. Once again, I have proven to be a human wall, the ultimate ponginator and a Harlem Pongtrotter extrodinaire. In other ping-pong news, I am fixing my table so I can fold it in half and play the ultimate opponent: myself.
BASEBALL POOL UPDATE: Well week one of Jory's baseball pool is over
and no surprise here: I am winning. Jory had 70+ point lead on me friday morning.
By sunday morning, I completed an amazing comeback and took a 7 point lead.
After week one, our current standings are as follows:
| Cool Mother Funkers (Bobby) | 372 |
| BIG BAMBINO BABE RUTH (Jory) | 370 |
| Rocky Balboa (Warren) | 281 |
| Friday Night (Jerred) | 241 |
Chris also has a team but the roster still hasn't been updated.
SURVIVOR 2:This week's victim was Nick. It was really funny because Nick knew he was gonna be voted off so when everyone tried to build a new camp, he just kicked back and did no work. That was the toughest thing I've seen. The show focused on the starving survivors. A lot of them look really looking skinny now. The reward challenge was a food auction. Each survivor was given 200 australian dollars to bid on food items. The big loser was Amber who put a lot of her chips on a covered mystery plate which ended up being a glass of water. What a putz. Speaking of Amber, she feels that she is an outcast now because no one on her tribe told her that they were gonna vote off Jerri. Is she dumb? Why would they tell her? She's Jerri's puppet. She's been through the whole show with Jerri's hand up her ass controlling what she says and does. On the flipside of Jerri leaving, Keith was singing the witch is dead. Finally, Colby won the immunity challenge. There was a t-bar that had a water bucket on one side and a torch to light a fuse on the other. The survivors had to use cans and fill them up with water and dump it in the water bucket to make the firestarter rise up and light the fuse. Keith had a chance to win but he threw his can away when he thought he had enough water to light the fuse. When it fell just short, he ran to get his can back but it was too late, Colby was on his way to winning.
AFRO NEWS: As I mentioned earlier, I got my hair braided on wednesday night before basketball and the results were fantastic. I tried to sleep without taking them out because I was really tired, but they were bothering me so I took them out. The result was a huge afro. This one was for real. My hair was all kinked because of the braids, but it was all-blown out sticking straight out about 4-6 inches. My hair was absolutely Dr. J. It was a very beautiful thing.
FUNBO MOVIE REVIEW: I forgot to mention last week that I saw Tomcats on sunday. This movie was hillarious. It didn't have as much stupidity as I thought it would. It's basically about a group of guys who have a mutual fund where they all chip in money and the last one who's a bachelor wins it all. It reaches half a million and one guy needs the cash so he tries to set up the only other guy left standing with some girl to win the cash. The highlight was Horatio Sanz who is married to Jaime Pressley in the movie. He constantly thinks his wife is bi-sexual due to coincidental events and at the end, gets a huge surprise which was the highlight of the movie. I definitely recommend this movie to anyone, unless you are one of those people who liked "The Piano" or "The English Patient".
WARREN'S COOL THING OF THE WEEK:Warren's cool thing for this week is this picture. I think it's pretty cool, too.
Yes ladies, don't forget that there is a sensitive side to both Warren and
I.
Below is the list of past issues along with some of the highlights:
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