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WARREN'S HOUSE: Friday, I got together with some people at Warren's house. It was pretty good fun. Hodge and Warren came and got me and we made a pit stop at Subway because FunBo was super hungry. Later on, I made a drink pit stop at 7-11 and bought the coolest drinks: Whup-Ass. I acutally got a can of Whup-Ass. At first, it tasted like carbonated water and piss (which triggered a bad flashback for me) but it grew on me and I realize it tastes great. Other than that, we spent most of the night at Warren's talking and joking the night away. Always good fun.
CANADA DAY: Canada Day was a class event this year. The Chris's and Warren drove around waving a flag outside the passenger window and were testing the waters for patriotic love. Two people actually fingered them when they waved the flag. Pretty sad. But once I got in the car, we all realized that North Burnaby is the capital of Canada Day pride. Kensington Plaza was a hotbed for love and one guy kept reiterating how cool we were. We wanted to take a picture with him, but we wussed out cuz he had a shaved head and looked like he could kick some ass. We got to Hodge's and spent the afternoon, evening and night eating good food (Hodge, I want my chicken wings...they better still be there), mostly hot dogs. We drank Canadian beer (and Heineken) and went around saying everything we loved about Canada. We played basketball, sang O Canada and hot tubbed the night away. We also had the ritual roundtable discussion of usual guy stuf: women, tv, how I pass the time at home, etc. Three of us ended up crashing at Hodge's and that's about it. It was an amazing Canada Day. On a sidenote, we are working on a world cup of BMX Joust where we use different countries flags as our poles to see which country is the strongest.
LOTS OF WORK: This past week, I worked like a dog (like a dog!!!) and I am definitely better off for it. For the first time ever, I worked 40 hours in one week. I never even worked 20 hours in a week before. Anyways, it was easy because it seemed like every hour or two, we got a break so it was no problem. Combine that with the fact that I have the easiest job around, and it was a good week. The best part is working at the pool at the signup table for summer reading club. There are gorgeous women on my right in the pool and lifeguarding and gorgeous women on the left in the gym. Score!
BASKETBALL JONES: Nostalgia in basketball this week. Only five people, including myself, went this week. The church gym was being used so no dice on that. We ended up taking it back to Moscrop to use their outdoor courts. We only got to play for an hour because of the light restrictions but it was good while it lasted. We went to 7-11 to get slurpees, hang out, talk and make fun of deer-eyed morons who came by. It was all class.
SALMON AWARD: Finally someone asks for the salmon award. However, there was a logjam. I was gonna give Jeff or his brain surgeon the salmon award this week, simply cuz they are worthy, but Kelly had to be selfish and figured she deserved it more than anyone else. So Kelly, you are now the "firecrotched quuen of thumb-sucking wah-wah look at me". Enjoy the fleeting fame while it lasts. You may have think that you won, but the new newsletter is out in a couple of days. Muhuhahahahaha!!!
THE ONION.COM TOP ARTICLES:
Ahhh...good ole onion. I have some good ones from them for all of you this week
WORD ON THE STREET:
Word On The Street follows up last week's classic with another banger called
"Get Your Walk On". CLICK
HERE TO SEE MOVIE HISTORY.
FUNBO ALBUM REVIEW: This week I am reviewing a single, rather than an album. The choice of the week is The CunninLynguists' "So Live". It has three songs. "So Live" begins with a short clip letting everyone know that this track is going to be strictly old school. The production by Celph Titled is definitely old school, with a simple, rugged drumbeat that is up-tempo. The lyrics are also old school in flavor: "This one is for the b-boys and the breakers… taking it all back to the essence, when you could go to a party and leave without your head split". Yeah, I remember those days too. "Thugged Out Since Cub Scouts" is a diamond in the rough. This song is well written and has hillarious imagery. Kno and Deacon with the help of Jugga the Bully and Mr. Raw allude to their younger days when they used to cause all kinds of trouble "Wheeling on my big wheel dressed to kill// jeans with the knee pads, slanted raccoon hat// wiffle ball bat in my holster, rollin // super soaker filled with piss, patrollin'". "616 Rewind" is the best of the bunch on this maxi-single. Produced by both Kno and Deacon, the beat will have you bouncing in your seat and bobbing your head. The xylophone and strings play off each other perfectly. The lyrics flow on this song are ridiculously amazing ("To be beside myself, I need god next to me"; "I don't capsize boats but I get crews flippin'"; "I beat a bitch until her whole body turn to cleavage"). This single is a total winner. It comes with a street, radio and instrumental version for each song. Score!
BABE BATTLE 23: Last weeks babe battle between the girls of survivor went to Elisabeth Filarski,
who beat Colleen Haskell 15 votes to 8. This week, we have the girls of The Fast
And The Furious. Jordana Brewster against Michelle Rodriguez.
CLICK
HERE TO VOTE ON THE BABE BATTLE
BASEBALL POOL: Damn it, this is starting to suck. I'm slipping like a dog on ice and this week was just plain crap. I came in third to Jory and Jerred respectively. It's always my pitching that seems to do me in. Thinking back on my own ball playing, you'd think pitching would be the one thing I got right. Oh well, here are the up-to-freakin'-date standings:
| BIG BAMBINO BABE RUTH (Jory) | 4166 |
| Cool Mother Funkers (Bobby) | 3964 |
| Rocky Balboa (Warren) | 3519 |
| Friday Night (Jerred) | 3425 |
Chris' team continues to
go AWOL.
AFRO NEWS: This week was absolutely afro-less. However, I had braids for quite a few days this week. I think half the week, I had the braids in. I brought out my best braids to celebrate Canada's 134th birthday. I love Canada!
WARREN'S COOL THING OF THE WEEK: Warren's cool thing of the week is
Canada Day. Quite simply because it kicks ass. Warren also thinks people who finger the flag are uncool.
RANDOM NOTES: Luke, Warren told me you're a damn good fan. That is damn cool. How many more times can I say damn? Damned if I know the damn answer to that, damn it. I sidetracked, this was strictly to give Luke props on being an excellent funboholic...albums I listened to while making this issue: Binary Star "Masters Of The Universe", Prince "Sign O The Times", Shuggie Otis "Inspiration Information", Stevie Wonder "Talking Book", Portishead "Portishead", The RZA As Bobby Digital "In Stereo", Kurupt "Streetz Iz A Mutha"...I'm out like the trash
Below is the list of past
issues along with some of the highlights:
Thank you to all who have
joined the fan club so far. If there is anything you think would make this fan
club better, pleae email me at the address below. FunBo's House Of Style is
all about the fans...