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WEEKEND AT HODGE'S: Well I pretty much spent this past weekend at Hodge's. Hodge's parents went away for the week and they left me in charge of the house. Quite the honor, I must say. So anyways, saturday was the day of Hodge's barbeque. My lone complaint was that it was almost a total sausage party for the most part (however, it did get more even as the night went on). Regardless, it was good times. I made an amazing drink out of my sour apple slurpee and in the meanwhile, I created the ultimate manburger. Two hot dogs and a hamburger patty in a bun. Honestly, it tastes pretty good. I was glad to be the yuppy who tried it out. Also, the circle of car stories was good fun. Chris Phillips and and Julio made a great mobile cooler that was underappreciated. The highlight of the night came in Hodge's hot tub. At the time, Julio was in the midst of working on a cigar and drinking a beer in the hot tub. This after he had been drinking all night and after eating half a "cookie". The end result was Julio performing the technicolor hurl into a recycling bin for a long ass time? So which of the aforementioned caused him to bleet? Neither, the kicker was when he committed a beer foul and we made him hold his breath underwater in the hot tub for 30 seconds (yeah Jules, it was 30, not 20...hahaha). That did him in good. That sad result for Julio was the sole good that came out of me and Warren's trip to his house to get cookies and a slurpee. Hodge's sister drove us to his house after dropping off her friend. It was a very depressing car ride that could be summed up with the words "Like she would do anything anyways". A crashing reality check indeed. Anyways, the kick ass night was topped off by Hodge's sister letting me sleep in her bed because she was sleeping in her parents bed. Meanwhile, Jory and Chris slept downstairs on the couch and featherbed, respectively.
The next day, I went home
for about half the day and came back to Hodge's. What I did while at home was
a legendary topic of discussion for quite a while. Anyways, we had yet another
hot tub session. Warren decided to play mystery hand which wasn't fun. Also,
we tried to get Jory off his girl strike, alas he made sure that our efforts
were wasted. I definitely think he did that on purpose too. Warren and I had
a good plan too involving a tape recorder and quacking like a duck (really,
it was a well-thought out plan). The highlight of this was my repeated beatings
of Hodge in 21 out back in the driveway. The next day though, Hodge did win
one game although I had the ultimate win where I wrapped around 21 five or six
times. The weekend at Hodge's was topped off by us watching cartoons and me
drinking lots of milk. Mr. T loves milk and so do I.
CAR ADVENTURES:
Friday was a shitty day. Well it wasn't really that bad except for the part
where my car broke down on the way home from Metrotown. Yup. I was so close
to home too. I was about 2 minutes away from my house and knew it was gonna
die so and it did, just a block short of Lougheed Highway (thankfully). I was
going down Royal Oak and my cd player starts going on and off, my battery light
is on and I'm thinking crap. I keep going though and as I'm on Douglas Rd, the
car is making funny noises and I'm starting to worry. I turn onto Goring and
the engine is putting. I stop at the stop sign and then make the turn onto Holdom
on sheer momentum of the dying car and get my ride to the side of the street.
I call BCAA and ask them to bring a tow truck and gibber my car over to my mechanic's
parking lot which is closeby. After that, I walk home a very sad man. Sad with
his car and sad with his dented pockets. Sigh. It really makes the fact that
I almost got killed by three buses at a time look a lot better. Oh yeah, I almost
ran into a truck on sunday when I was checking out two girls walking down the
street while I was driving. Oops.
HAZARD PONG: Jeff Sadgrove ended my legendary run on thursday. After 13 straight wins, Jeff beat me 21-19 in ping-pong. I wanted to cry but the tears weren't coming. Instead, I just beat him two more times. My highlight was a missed shot. Not just any missed shot though. Jeff hit a killer shot that went through the water pipes and I hit a backhanded flip back through the pipes on a rope. Unfortunately, it missed wide...barely. Either way, I was happy with my play. Be on the lookout soon for some Hazard Pong action shots from Jeff's camera.
AMERICAN PIE 2, PART
2: On tuesday, I went to see American Pie 2 again with Hodge, Chris and
a wack of other people. We had a great plan to get their early, get our tickets
and then stalk the area to avoid the huge line because there were 13 of us.
However, Chris and I weren't on the ball and out of nowhere, a lineup of around
50-75 people had formed. The good news was that we ended up getting our row
for everyone. The bad news was we had two extra seats which I was saving for
some good looking girl to feel free and take. However, no good looking girls
came without a guy. Eventually, some dude and his girlfriend sat there so I
stole Julio's seat and made Jules sit by that guy and his woman. None of that
mattered though because the movie was just as funny, if not funnier, the second
time around. Stifler absolutely made that movie great...again. Good times.
TENNIS: On wednesday, I went to play tennis with Aly and I was very dissappointed. He kept talking about how good he was and I was expecting a good match. However, all I got was a ginger workout. I ended up beating him 6-0, 6-1. Rick and Rajesh came by later that night, but we just rallied for a bit. I had more of a sweat going in the rallies than in my game against Aly. Aly, you'll pay for this. I got a better deal on thursday though. Hodge and I went to play during the day and we had a real man's game. We played best of five sets and I won 6-0, 6-1 and 6-2. The ultimate toughness came in the last set when I decided to play in just my shorts. No shirt, shoes or socks. The payoff came with my improved tan in the midst of winning. Score.
SALMON AWARD: This week's Salmon Award goes to Crista. Because of her amazing feats with a kitchen knife, she is hereby known as the "Jedi Pepper Master". Word.
THE ONION.COM TOP ARTICLES:
Ahhh...good ole onion. I have some good ones from them for all of you this week
WORD ON THE STREET:
Once again, I have discovered another Red Meat gem of a comic. A new dfilm will
be out next week. CLICK
HERE TO READ THIS WEEK'S COMIC.
FUNBO ALBUM REVIEW: This week I am reviewing my most recent album purchase...Nsync's "Celebrity". Yup, that's right, I bought Nsync. Unlike millions of you, I am not a closeted fan, I'm open about it. Moving along now, I really like this album. They are taking steps to shed the boy band label. I think that they found a good sound with "No Strings Attached" and decided to work off of that and make their sound and subject matter expand and mature and that's what they did with "Celebrity". The title track and lead single, "Pop", uses a more progressive tune then the regular cookie cutter boyband beats most groups use and is almost Nsync poking fun at their situation of being pop stars. Their new single is the old school gem, "Gone". This is a great ballad and really shows their stellar and improved harmonies since their earlier days. Other standout tracks are The Neptunes produced "Girlfriend", Brian McKnight touched "Selfish" and the upbeat tracks "Do Your Thing" and "The Two Of Us".
BABE BATTLE 31:
Last week, Nicole Paris defeated Jaime Bergman 14 votes to 9. I have very good
reason to suspect that a certain member of the fan club was voting multiple
times due to some dirty work but regardless, I can't have 100% confirmation
so the tally stands as is. This week, Mena Suvari is up against Patricia Barros. CLICK
HERE TO VOTE ON THE BABE BATTLE.
BASEBALL POOL: My moving on up status continues to shine brightly. Thanks to crap week from Curtis and a good week by myself, I moved into 2nd place last week. Here are the standings up to date.
| BIG BAMBINO BABE RUTH (Jory) | 1934 |
| Cool Mother Funkers (Bobby) | 1706 |
| Superman Squad (Curtis) | 1624 |
| Friday Night (Jerred) | 1599 |
| The Flipmode Squad(Jaydon) | 1240 |
| Jory's Farm Team (Jory as Warren) | 1059 |
WARREN'S COOL THING
OF THE WEEK: Warren's cool thing of the week is girls that make fun of their friends for not being sluts. This really is one of the funniest concepts ever discovered.
RANDOM NOTES: Shaq keeps making pretty good songs and yet no one buys his albums. How bizzare...Hodge, make no mistake, I run things...This Nsync cd is REALLY good...home alone, oh yeah!!!...Speaking of old movies, Young Guns was on the other day. I want to be a cowboy...."Cowboy, baby!", what a great tune...Whatever happened to Kid Rock?...the gay test is great fun...the mystery hand isn't...i am the king of 21. unbeatable, except when I lose...sucky deals: wanting to wash your car and then waking up to a rainy day...i'm out like David Coulthard.
Thank you to all who have
joined the fan club so far. If there is anything you think would make this fan
club better, pleae email me at the address below. FunBo's House Of Style is
all about the fans...
